Update on my life~

It’s been such a long time, I thought I’d update a bit about my life now!

  • Currently in Florida for university, yay (≧∇≦)!
  • Although I still get to go back to Seoul every summer to see my family (this calls for a double yay!O(≧▽≦)O)
  • School is getting harder (*≧m≦*)

 

 

Ethnic/Racial Cliques and Groups in School

I do not live in Seoul anymore. Extreme sadness to that.

Instead, I am currently in the United States attending university. My family still lives in Korea though, so I plan to go back to Seoul during the summer in 2012.

Through becoming friends with my current group of friends here in my first year of university, I realized throughout most of my life, my “clique” consisted of a random variety of types of people.

A couple weeks into school, I joined some Asian culture club and I was actually able to meet my close university friends through the organization. All the girls I became close friends with love K-Pop (especially Big Bang, DBSK, and 2PM!) and I’m so glad that the group I have is diversified.

My friends here consist of various races such as Caucasian, African-American, Chinese, Filipino, Hispanic, Jamaican, Indian, you name it! I just love how diverse our group is  because in my university (and probably in other places as well) most cliques are based on ethnicity/race. For example, whenever we hang out in the cafe, we’ll see groups of Hispanics or the Asians together. Even a small group of Caucasians every now and then. But then you look at my group and it’s like (quoting what my friend said, excuse the language) a “cluster f*ck of races” and I feel like that perfectly describes us. I wouldn’t want to trade my group of friends for anything, whether it’s a group of Korean or half Koreans. Not that I have anything against them, but I truly enjoy the little things I’ve learned about other races that i had no idea about such as discovering about Trinidad and the lives my friends had in their home countries (like Guatemala and Spain).

This reminds me of high school. In high school it’s the same thing, most groups stick together based on race. I would see so many various Korean cliques together: the preppy Koreans, the hip-hop Koreans, the gamer Koreans, etc.  and then the groups of Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, etc. (but mainly I would see Korean groups since that’s what a majority of my high school was made up of).

Then there was my group (back in high school): me (a half-Korean girl), my Vietnamese-Filipino best friend, half-Korean best guy friend, Korean gamer guy friend, Korean girl, and occasionally another Korean guy.

Okay, wait a minute. I just realized, most of my group on high school consists of Koreans or half-Koreans. But the thing is, we all seem so different. Like, I’m quiet and shy, but a bit more preppy while some of my friends were more sporty, others more nerdy, others into games. When I think back, we all didn’t have very much in common besides somehow clicking and becoming best friends (which I completely love them for!)

The point is, diversity is the best (whether through ethnicity or even just personality/hobbies). I’m grateful that I was able to find a clique in university that isn’t much of a clique based on race or ethnicity, but just on commonality like K-Pop, video games, being chill, and having the same classes.  I’m half Korean but I know I would never be able to fit into a group of full Koreans because I don’t look full Korean, can’t speak it fluently, and my personality is not quite like most Koreans, and I’m also half Hispanic. I know for a fact I wouldn’t fit in with a group of full Hispanic girls because I look and act too Asian (hahahaha, sad but true!). I also cannot speak Spanish AT ALL. I was so worried when I started school because I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to make friends. I love Asian (or more specifically, Korean-) culture so much but my school has an extremely low percentage of Asians and I hadn’t lived in America for a long time so I know the way I thought and acted wouldn’t be typical of most other Americans attending the school. I’m also not like most teens where I would drink, do drugs, party, etc. (or at least, not like the popular kids! hahaha)

In the end though, I was able to find people like me: displaced in the social hierarchy of school but still very honest and open to new cultures and experiences (plus we’re good kids! hahaha, not doing anything too crazy or bad on weekends~) So I’m also grateful that I didn’t get sucked into the wrong kind of crowd.

I am not at all judging groups that stick together and are of the same race/ethnicity, but growing up as half-and-half always made me displaced amongst cliques so I always usually had a diverse range of close friends instead of sticking with one kind of group. In a way I’m sort of jealous of groups of the same race because it seems fun to be able to relate customs, foods, language, and other commonalities with people who experienced the same thing because of the same culture. Nonetheless, I love being half-and-half and the life lessons I learned through it, such as not to judge others because of them being “different” and having an open mind to different cultures 🙂

So anyways, let me guys know what kind of clique/group of friends you guys have! I’m interested to know about others’ experiences with this as well 🙂 Also be aware that I’m loosely using the term “clique” in a way to describe a group of people. I am trying in no way to stereotype or judge.

Trying to Keep Up

I feel bad for not keeping up with my blog. I actually would like to keep up with it more, but life seems to always get in the way.

I would like to keep blogging about k-pop, weight gain/loss, Korean fashion and makeup, and other issues that would interest girls and influence them.

I’m not trying to save the world or get follower or anything, but I just want to share my own experiences. If it can help or influence even just one person, I would feel happy to know I’ve changed their point of view or perspective on something.

So anyways, I have a new layout and even if it’s only once or twice a week, I will try to update with substantial posts rather than random things like pictures and music.

Bye~

Jenni

The Deal With Korean Females Being Thin (Part 2)

Someone recently commented on my post The Deal With Korean Females Being Thin and I was replying to the comment but realized I had a lot more to say than I originally expected.

It’s been almost a year since I last wrote that post and I so, I decided to write a follow up about how I’m doing now concerning the obession of being thin (in Korea). If you haven’t read the post, read it here or else this post might not make as much sense as it would if you read the previous one: https://jennikim.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/the-deal-with-korean-females-and-being-thin/.

I’m about 5’4 and my lowest weight that I achieved (a couple months after that post) was 109lbs. I used to think thinner was better and I didn’t think anything was wrong with me, especially since I was still eating three healthy meals a day and excercising, yet what triggered an alarm in my brain was the fact that I wasn’t getting my period anymore. I found myself obsessed with calorie and fat intake as well, making it hard to enjoy eating in general.

My current weight now is around 130lbs. When I was at my lowest weight, I was almost ‘underweight’ so I decided it was unhealthy and I intentionally gained some weight. I feel fat and not as pretty now, especially since I can’t fit into some of my clothes from my thinner days, but I’ve been told I look better and that I look more curvy. Despite this, I want to lose weight again but it’s obviously easier to gain weight than lose it. But looking back, I saw a full body picture I took of myself and when I had first taken the picture I was nearly underweight yet thought “Eww, I still look fat” yet looking back on it now, about 20lbs heavier, I realize I looked way too thin. Almost like a toothpick or stringy little girl instead of the teenager/almost-woman that I’m supposed to be.

I just want to let others know that it really doesn’t matter how much you weigh in Korea. It’s more about your body structure. I know some girls who are 5’4 and 130lbs yet they look overweight because of their body structure of either having more fat stored in their thighs, hips, or arms (basically genetics of where fat gets stored first). Excercise really does work but please don’t lose weight just to drop the pounds. I became so overly obsessed with losing pounds that I didn’t focus on my own health and body. Focus more on the fat around whatever area you want to lose weight with and just be satisfied when you see the centimeters/inches slowly disappear.

I actually really hate my weight gain and have even stopped weighing myself daily (I don’t think I’ve touched a scale in practically a month), but just be happy with yourself, I think that’s the best thing to do when you feel like your weight is never good enough. Because whether you’re thin or fat, you’ll feel unsatisfied with yourself, so eating as healthy as you can and living a good healthy lifestyle is what’s best.

Sorry, I will edit this post later so it can make more sense and make it sound less…demanding/judgmental (if it even does sound like that). I just really wanted to get these thoughts out since I’ve been there. Feel free to share any experiences you’ve had dealing with this topic, whether you’re dealing with anorexia now or are recovering/have recovered from it.

Awhile~

Sorry, it’s been awhile, hasn’t it?

Oh well, that’s just the person I am, sorry T^T

But I’ve been swamped with finals and a whole bunch of other college-related stuff.

Nonetheless, I just wanted to update about HIMEKA’s song “Winding Road” because it’s very upbeat and I just love fast-paced songs compared to ballads:

Jay Park’s Comment About 2PM’s “Without You”

On his Youtube Jay Park posted a bulletin that said, “khuns rap part is fire. 2pm “without you” go check it out ! =)”

I’m loving the fact Jay is still giving support to his 2PM members, but according to allkpop, netizens have been leaving these kinds of comments:

 “Ugh, please don’t mention 2**…don’t do that please, love&respect,” and “Jaebeomah! Don’t even think about 6PM anymore…Please don’t think about them anymore and think about your pride…” to “Go check it out? stop Jay!!!!! You really love us? If so, do not promote 2PM!!!!! I’m sorry, I hate them!!!!”

I’m not a huge 2PM fangirl or anything, but these ex-2PM fans sicken me! I’m disugsted by them, how can they love Jay and be like “Eww, 2PM.”

In my head that makes NO sense whatsoever.

Anyways, just a little mini rant since the shallowness of fans is shocking to me.

I find Korean fans usually very loyal, but this isn’t loyalty to abandon your idol group when one member is gone, this is more like something disgusting and horrid…

A true fan would stick with them till the end.

Peace ❤

Posters

I don’t like hanging posters on my wall.

Is it just me, or do the faces look sort of scary?

I tried hanging a BigBang poster, but I just really hate how the eyes seem like they’re following you, and not in a good way.

Scary!

I remember how I had a DBSK poster in my old house and sometimes I would cover the faces because they sort of scared me (I don’t know how to describe it. It’s not like the men look ugly, it’s just that I feel like they’re staring at me the whole time I’m in my room!)

Oh well, maybe it’s just me.

Birthday Cake ~

I celebrated my birthday not too long ago.

My parents bought a delicious strawberry cream sponge cake from Paris Baguette, I love the cakes from PB!

This cake was no excception ~

Even ate two slices, oops >x<

(Incase you didn’t know, I REALLY love strawberries! Like, no joke! Strawberry ice cream with bananas, strawberry smoothie with kiwis, strawberry jelly on my bagel, so many more strawberry foods I eat…)

Anyways, I definately recommend this cake to those who love strawberries.

The cake was a bit too soft though, almost like the whole thing was cream even with the sponge cake, but nonetheless, the taste made up for that ^^

Gosh, I’m craving this yummy cake again. After my family birthday dinner, there weren’t any left over slices left T-T